That Bites!

I do hope the Boston Globe article below isn't a case of "thou doth protest too much." But it does make you wonder when the Head Mistress of Boston's most prestigious high school feels obligated to address the otherwise laughable issue formally in writing.

Mar. 26, 2009 BOSTON -Apparently, it’s not the bloody truth. After stories spread that vampires were strolling the campus of Boston Latin School, the headmaster of the prestigious college-prep school put a stake in the rumors. Lynne Mooney Teta sent a notice out Thursday to faculty, students, and parents denying the presence of bloodsuckers. She declined, however, to offer details about the rumors.

Boston Police spokesman Eddy Chrispin said police were called to the school Wednesday after hearing of the vampire tales. Chrispin said he didn’t know if the alleged vampires were among the student body or hiding in old corners of the building. The school was founded in 1635, and its students have included Ben Franklin, Sam Adams, Louis Farrakhan, and Sumner Redstone.

I know the mere fact that someone feels they must deny something makes that something appear possible. The other day I got a voicemail from my Kindergartner's teacher simply saying, "Please call me I have something to discuss." There was no "dun, dun, dunnn..." type background music but I just got this my-angel-has-been-devilish feeling.

So that night I ask him why his teacher was calling me. He responded with "I didn't do anything." Too bad for him because the mere fact that he denied something he hadn't even been accused of let me know I was looking at one guilty 6 year old.

Turns out he and a buddy were deep into a boy-type humor session when my little bundle of joy was overheard by the teacher saying in a deep voice, "Tell me what I want to know or I'll throw you out the window." The teacher heard this as a threat and boom - a privilege revoked and call home. Never mind that (a) the 2 were kidding around, (b) the other kid actually found the conversation hysterically funny for some only-boys-know-why reason, (c) my son can't pick up a chair let alone another child, and (d) they were on the ground floor which I am told by my 6 year old is why it was so funny in the first place. But my theory on how our "educational system" is raising wimps not able to find their way out of a paper bag let alone cure cancer or compete on an international playing field will have to wait for another session for I have a garlic necklace to make.