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Having Friends for Dinner
A psychic once told me that I am the type of person who gets energy from being with people. Once I was able to shake off the vision of myself as a space alien parasite sucking the life force from unsuspecting humans in my mad quest to over run the planet; I could see that she may be right. I love conversation, the exchange of ideas, laughter and the tinkling of wine glasses in a toast. In short I love a good party.
Over the years I have toyed with all sorts of ideas to try to maximize party conversation and people mixing. The biggest mystery I have tried to understand and overcome is what I call the "kitchen effect". No matter the size of the crowd everyone herds into the kitchen. This can limit the mixing of guests and makes for isolated conversations. My most successful break up of the "kitchen effect" was at a sit down dinner for 20 we had one year for Christmas. I purposefully set up the bar and appetizers in the living room and as guests arrived I walked them over to it - no where near the kitchen. It worked out fantastic. Everyone was mixing and not a soul was in the kitchen. Success!
At one point the phone rang. As I grabbed it, I darted into the kitchen for some quiet. A guest was calling for directions to our house. Upon entering the kitchen I noticed smoke and flames pouring out of the oven. It took a minute to register but it finally sank in "The F**king Kitchen is on fire!" Always being one to multi task, I continued with the directions as I headed back to the living room. Asking the lost guest to please excuse me for one minute, I called across the room, quite calmly I must say,"Hey Steve the kitchen is on fire." Obviously not processing what I said and giving me a quizzical look, he held up his finger in a wait-a-minute gesture as he tried to finish his conversation that I had, quite honestly, just rudely interrupted. Usually I'd never scream across a room and interrupt but it was a fire after all. With the lost guest still hanging on the phone I called a little more urgently, "No really the kitchen is on fire." Now I had his and everyone else's attention. "Really?" "Yes." With Steve on fire patrol I went back to the directions just as the fire alarms started to sound. The lost guest was now getting concerned. "Should I call the fire department?" "Thank you but I think we're all set. Now as I was saying you take your third left and.." "Really do you need anything? It sounds pretty serious. We could ... uh ... bring ... pizza." "Hey great idea. We'll call out if it comes to that. See you in a few." All the while the alarm is blaring.
Now everyone is in the kitchen. All my bust the "kitchen effect" efforts wasted. Flames are still pouring out of the oven but now we have five or six men standing around the fire in heated discussion. Having missed the first minute or two of this Mensa session, I have no idea what the hold up is. I grab a fire extinguisher and hand it into the group around the now very large flames. Between blasts of the fire alarm I begin to understand the problem. The testosterone laden cavemen with mine right there in the middle are trying to figure out how to save the $250- worth of beef tenderloin. Most of the male guests apparently hadn't come to the party for my lively conversation but instead for the infamous chef Steve prepared pink peppercorn and rosemary encrusted tenderloin. With a single goal "Save the meat! Save the meat!" and quite possibly a single brain they risk life and limb (not to mention my house) but do in fact save the meat and put out the fire. Dinner was delicious. To the amazement of the entire crowd, and the delight of the meat-lovers, the tenderloin had not been on fire. A recipe page of mine (oops!) had gotten stuck on the bottom of the pan mixed with grease from the meat and poof up goes my oven. For the record, between sitting for the meal and dessert everyone stood crammed around the kitchen with my now soot stained oven.
While arguably successful, busting the "kitchen effect" nearly cost me our house. So I guess its best not to mess with the natural order of things. Hmmm. Maybe we should expand the kitchen.
Over the years I have toyed with all sorts of ideas to try to maximize party conversation and people mixing. The biggest mystery I have tried to understand and overcome is what I call the "kitchen effect". No matter the size of the crowd everyone herds into the kitchen. This can limit the mixing of guests and makes for isolated conversations. My most successful break up of the "kitchen effect" was at a sit down dinner for 20 we had one year for Christmas. I purposefully set up the bar and appetizers in the living room and as guests arrived I walked them over to it - no where near the kitchen. It worked out fantastic. Everyone was mixing and not a soul was in the kitchen. Success!
At one point the phone rang. As I grabbed it, I darted into the kitchen for some quiet. A guest was calling for directions to our house. Upon entering the kitchen I noticed smoke and flames pouring out of the oven. It took a minute to register but it finally sank in "The F**king Kitchen is on fire!" Always being one to multi task, I continued with the directions as I headed back to the living room. Asking the lost guest to please excuse me for one minute, I called across the room, quite calmly I must say,"Hey Steve the kitchen is on fire." Obviously not processing what I said and giving me a quizzical look, he held up his finger in a wait-a-minute gesture as he tried to finish his conversation that I had, quite honestly, just rudely interrupted. Usually I'd never scream across a room and interrupt but it was a fire after all. With the lost guest still hanging on the phone I called a little more urgently, "No really the kitchen is on fire." Now I had his and everyone else's attention. "Really?" "Yes." With Steve on fire patrol I went back to the directions just as the fire alarms started to sound. The lost guest was now getting concerned. "Should I call the fire department?" "Thank you but I think we're all set. Now as I was saying you take your third left and.." "Really do you need anything? It sounds pretty serious. We could ... uh ... bring ... pizza." "Hey great idea. We'll call out if it comes to that. See you in a few." All the while the alarm is blaring.
Now everyone is in the kitchen. All my bust the "kitchen effect" efforts wasted. Flames are still pouring out of the oven but now we have five or six men standing around the fire in heated discussion. Having missed the first minute or two of this Mensa session, I have no idea what the hold up is. I grab a fire extinguisher and hand it into the group around the now very large flames. Between blasts of the fire alarm I begin to understand the problem. The testosterone laden cavemen with mine right there in the middle are trying to figure out how to save the $250- worth of beef tenderloin. Most of the male guests apparently hadn't come to the party for my lively conversation but instead for the infamous chef Steve prepared pink peppercorn and rosemary encrusted tenderloin. With a single goal "Save the meat! Save the meat!" and quite possibly a single brain they risk life and limb (not to mention my house) but do in fact save the meat and put out the fire. Dinner was delicious. To the amazement of the entire crowd, and the delight of the meat-lovers, the tenderloin had not been on fire. A recipe page of mine (oops!) had gotten stuck on the bottom of the pan mixed with grease from the meat and poof up goes my oven. For the record, between sitting for the meal and dessert everyone stood crammed around the kitchen with my now soot stained oven.
While arguably successful, busting the "kitchen effect" nearly cost me our house. So I guess its best not to mess with the natural order of things. Hmmm. Maybe we should expand the kitchen.
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